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sian ttm.

today i failed my driving test twice.
u need less than 18 demerit points to pass, so u can imagine hw bad my score was.
i wasnt sure i was going to pass or fail, but i wasnt really worried abt driving.
i was only worried abt my circuit.
anws during e "de brief" e tester said my circuit was ok (i only gt a 2 pt deduction cause of e slope) but my filtering was extremely bad and therefore deemed unsafe to drive on a road.
for one hour i was really sulking in my failure.

i think i might just be the record holder for the most demerit points in the history of singapore.
i bet e tester thought i was a joke to even attempt to sit for the test.

im still v sian and i cannot get over it.
i know what i did wrongly but idk why i did em.
some of e mistakes i did because i didnt know it was necessary.

e most comforting thing someone said to me abt my pathetic attempt was surprisingly from casper.
he said "it's okay try again. it's v common. manual sure harder"
i didnt expect tt from him, cause its casper what.
i expected something like "haha, so noob."
i think if e situation was turned around i wouldnt have been as nice.
so thank you casper for making me feel so much better. (=

dilemma, or not.?

i was reading my resolutions for last year, checking how many i managed t complete.
and i decided to give up half way cause e results were not the most encouraging.
this year, instead of setting resolutions that will nvr happen because im just not self discipline enough (and the long time line just makes things a lot more diff) i thought i'll have a small goal every month.
setting a short term goal just seems a lot more feasible now.

my "things i must do before i die" list just cant seem to stop growing.
and recently i feel like quitting my job.
dont get me wrong.
i like what i'm doing and i enjoy working with the people i see at work, and i genuinely think this is a great place to build a career.
i dont know if i say tt all the time when i join a new company.
u know everytime u leave somewhere for a new place, u'll always start realizing how ur new place is so much better than the old place in so many aspects.
but after some time, u'll also start to realize how every place has its own shit.
back to e main topic.
i just feel like there's something out there that i should be doing now, at this point of time than to work.
obviously i wanna travel- dive, be adventurous, visit rustic places, eat authetic italian and french food, visit a winery blah blah blah...
then here comes the ever present dilemma.
should i work first and earn more money and create a career for myself before i enjoy.?
if i dont do it now, will i be too old by the time i do it.?

i think that has been one of the biggest dilemma i've had for a long long time.
tgt with should i study now or work first.?
somehow or rather i'm pretty certain life wil work out a lot better once i've got these 2 dilemmas figured out, and STICK TO IT.

i miss you.

why cant things be so much simpler.?

i feel bumed whenever smth like tt happens.

if i bared my heart each time, will things be different.?
if it wouldnt, what should i do.?
will i be able to take it.?
how would i feel.?

feel like riding bike.

wanna get drunk.

wanna take shots.

wanna jump off a boat and swim in the ocean.

jump in joy at my first big win at a casino table.

have so much more time t talk t ppl i want t.

wanna cook.

wanna tell u u're so cute, thank you, i really appreciate you.

wanna cry so badly i cant breathe.

i really care, please believe me.

dont lie to me.

e smell of e sea breeze.

e feelg of ice cold beer on a hot sunny day.

e adrenaline rush when we all cheer tgt when we play vball.

stop lookg backwards, look forward.



Posted via m.livejournal.com.


oh no.
im really bad at this.
i hope im not throwing away smth good.
its happened before, althou im not sure if it'll turn out good or bad.?
i just dont like wtev im feelg right now.
geez, im weird.
will somebody pls get me e doctor alr.?


affection is something everyone needs and wants, generally speaking.

i realized not everyone is comfortable with affection.
be it physical, verbal, or mental (although i'm nt quite sure hw tt's achieved)

some people love displaying affection, and these people tend to crave affection.
they just cant wait to receive forms of affection.
it could be their culture, e way they were brought up.
it could be the longingness that make them behave this way.
or some people are just plain AA; simply put attract attention.

on the other hand, we have people who have problems displaying or receiving affection.
the reasons why are just the exact opposite of why people are comfortable with affection.
they could be shy, introvert, not brought up that way, or simply do not wish to display acts of affection.

personally, i wouldnt say im either of these extremes.
but im quite sure im more inclined towards the latter.
i react the same way when positive feedback or affection is given, dismissive.
being able to receive praises with open arms is something i've to learn, not that i've a lot.
obviously you dont wanna be someone who bask in praises so much their ego gets an overdose of steriods, but learng to appreciate em is good.
at least tt's why i'll be teaching my kids (if i ever have any) in future for sure.

similarly, im not a big fan of affection both physical and verbal.
especially people whom i've nt really opened up to.
and i dont feel comfortable when lets say i get along with someone i just know very well and tt person i just know keeps saying oh we're v close and how we shld spend more time tgt.
a few times in my life tt happened and obviously we didnt end up close eventually.

weirdly enough, i actually like hugs.
very tight hugs especially.
i dont know why but hugs feel extremely comfortable and warm and every single nice word u can use to describe basically.
i havent heard anyone saying they dont like hugs too.
scientists should do a research on the wonderful effects of hugging. (=

occassionally i get very emo, prolly too emo for my own good.
and tt is the one and only time i crave affection and affirmation.
people get lost once in a while and when i get lost, i need someone to guide me back.
to let me know im safe.
sad to say, this is how insecure i am. )=
when this happens, a hug is all u need. (=





Tgt w 16 n 18, 21 is one of e milestones of ur life before e big decades come knockg on ur door.
Idk why there's sucha big emphasis on these numbers and where in e world did it started from. But anws, me being in this world of living followed e norm. I had t celebrate my 21st n so I did.
Although everyone maintained conversation w ppl from their own comfort zone, I'd say my dinner was a success. It actually turned out pretty well.
Nw tt I'm 21, I realize I still do not like t cut cake. Gt another one t cut w e family ltr tonight. Srsly, is just e eng xiu em.
Rly wanna thank those who attended e dinner n after party. Appreciate. I had fun. (:

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

caramalized apples with rum.

serves 2

u will need:
1 big fiji apple
1 tbl spn raisins
1/2 tbl spn sunflower oil (avoid olive oil)
1/2 tbl spn butter
15ml rum (or brandy)
1 tbl spn sugar

peel and remove core from apple, slice into 16 pieces
apply low heat to pan.
add in oil and butter.
add in raisin and let rest for one min.
apply medium heat and add in apple slices on one side for 3 mins.
flip apples to other side for another 3 mins.
allow to caramalized in pan for another 3 mins tossing a few times.
add in rum. (be careful not to stand too close to pan as rum will flambee)
add in sugar once flame has died down.
toss till apples are well coated with a layer of sugar.
allow to caramalize for another 30 secs.
remove from heat.

serve on top of two scoops of vanilla ice cream. (use yoghurt for a healthier choice)

optional: add another dash of 5ml of rum if u prefer a stronger rum flavour (I DO.!)

i received my bank statement today and found one particular transaction extremely foreign.
it said 1-877-7996840REELHD.COM 877-8996840    USD 39.95     Transaction amount 55.13
having zero impression of what the hell it was, i went online to www.reelhd.com.
and then i discover to my horror that i had actually subcribed for a free 5 day trail of online movies on the 29th of august.
so i went to Q&A and here's e catch:

As indicated during the signup process, the 5-Day trial gives you free access to our Premium services for five days. To avoid service interruptions, your trial membership automatically renews as a monthly Premium membership, billed at $39.95 per month, unless cancelled before the trial expires.

then i went to find out more abt my memebership and i realized that my next billing will be 3rd of oct which is 3 days from now and i've actually paid $55.13 for the last 27days for nth.
this is not funny.
i am fuming.
i decided to cancel my membership in fear that i will have to pay another $55.13 the following month.
and this is what u have to choose at the end of the cancellation ship.

Yes, I am sure that I would like to cancel my Premium Membership and agree to the $0.99 convenience fee for online cancellation. I also understand that I will receive an email confirming the cancellation.

Additionally, I would like to delete my free Regular Membership and immediately remove my account information from your database, thus preventing me from logging in to the members' area and using the free service.

first of all, i've to pay 0.99 cancellation fee.?
and e fact that they have the second option goes to show how many ppl have been cheated of their money.
it was supposed to be a free online streaming site my friend recommended and here i am now stuck wth this.
this sure doesnt come second to losing my wallet.

that wasnt e best part.
the following is:

We're sad to see you go.

We value our customers. That's why, for today only, we're offering you a $2.95 Monthly Premium Membership. There are no obligations and you can cancel anytime. Take advantage of this one-time offer, select "Keep My Membership for $2.95" now!


* A charge of $2.95 from ReelHD.com/s 1-877-7996840 will appear on your credit card statement every month until cancelled.

does this mean that all other dumb dumb users don't know they hv actually been paying 13 times more than ppl who tried to cancel and was once again duped into paying again.?
i guess so.

oh did i mention e first qns on their Q&A reads "why was i billed 39.95?"
we all know which question got e most hits now dont we.?